Vaccinations are still important!

I received a disturbing phone call from my daughter this week. One of the students at her very small Bible school had fallen ill, had a seizure in the night, and was hospitalized with a brain virus. At this time, he is not fully breathing on his own, and needless to say, the students, of which there are only 17, are troubled and very worried for their friend. Because at a school that small, friends become family.

For about 24 hours, we didn’t know what this was or if the other students were in danger of contracting it, and it was scary.

Turns out it’s meningitis, and once the doctors diagnosed the strain, they treated all the students at the school with antibiotics as a precaution, including those who had previously been vaccinated.

Now, I’m not here to bash anyone who has chosen not to vaccinate their children. I know it’s a personal decision. But my personal choice was to vaccinate regularly because I felt it was my duty. When a preventative inoculation that can hold a disease at bay for an entire population is discovered, it seems a grand idea to make sure our children receive it for the good of us all. That’s just my personal opinion.

When each of my kids turned eighteen and planned to head off to college, I marched them straight to the doctor to get their panel of shots, including the meningitis vaccination. Because meningitis is one of the leading viruses among college students and very contagious, and I knew that. If my daughter had not been vaccinated, she could be the one lying in that hospital bed right now. 

So if you do nothing else, parents, I urge you to make sure your college bound students are vaccinated for meningitis BEFORE you send them off. It’s just smart parenting.

How did we end up here?

Empty Nesters.

That’s what they call us after our babies have flown the coop. And even though the transition is not quite as detrimental as pushing a baby bird over the edge, it can sting just as hard when you hit that metaphorical cement.

This is where my husband and I find ourselves these days. Baby #1 is about to graduate from UNM with a degree in business administration, and Baby #2? Well, at eighteen, she shocked us with the news that she’d met the love of her life up at Bible school in Washington State, and they have plans to marry at the end of this year. And so… we look at each other over the expanse of the small end table that sits between his recliner and mine and think, “How in the world did this happen?”

When my youngest left home last year, I was lost for a couple of weeks. It’s quite a slap in the face to realize your role as a mom has drastically changed. You realize they’ll always need you, but not in the same way. My husband had his own moment of reflection. His baby girl was all grown up, and it was a shock to both of our systems.

I had a vision of how my life would play out. It’s probably similar to a million other girls’ ideas of life and love. I’d grow up, get married to the most handsome man in the world, of course, get our first dog together, then a degree, a good paying job, a mortgage, pop out a couple of kids—a boy, a girl—and we would live in perpetual happiness, frozen in time just like that.

Right.

Don’t get me wrong, growing old together was also a part of the plan. It’s one of the oldest clichés in the Book of Love, after all. But once you actually find the first gray hair, the ugly new wrinkle, the hints of your grown-up selves in your children’s faces? That’s when you have to face the fact that this “growing old together” is for real.

Two things tend you happen once you reach empty nester status: 1) you grow apart because the only thing keeping you together was the kids, or 2) you grow closer.

We all want the latter, I’m sure, and there is a simple way to prepare for it. You see, when a couple marries, they become the family. People get that wrong all of the time. They think family begins once the first baby comes. Not true. Children are merely an extension of what the two of you have already begun. And if you can wrap your mind around this, once the children are gone, the family stands strong. If you’re in the same boat as we are, I hope this has been your experience.

I can only speak to the upcoming generation now. For all of you younger married couples just beginning your lives together, listen up. Even after the children enter the picture, date. Once a week, once a month, as often as you can, don’t ever stop dating. Get a sitter or drop the kids off with Grandma for the night, but whatever it takes, make time to cultivate the family you started with just two people. It’s a conscientious choice to keep your love and commitment to each other alive, and I guarantee, you will never regret it.

Now I look at my husband across the expanse of that end table in a completely different light. I’m reminded that through all of the years of raising our children, of times when money was tight or we were sick or angry or tired, we never forgot to nurture our relationship or revisit the promises we made to each other at the altar. We started something beautiful twenty-eight years ago, and we have the rest of our lives to finish it—together.

Cheers to our fellow empty nesters. Here’s to hoping your nest is still intact.

Sisters’ Weekend! A tribute.

My very first friend was my younger sister. It’s not a stretch to say that this is a truth for those of us with siblings. Think about how much we have in common, firstly, one or both parents. We are exposed to the same relatives, same environment, same culture, same foods. Certainly, the growing up years can nurture or taint these first relationships, and if you’re lucky, they will survive the sibling rivalry and turn into lifelong friendships. That’s what I got.

I’ve been blessed with four younger sisters, and I’m close to each of them in different ways. We all have distinctly different personalities, likes and dislikes, and different life experiences as adults, but our commonalities outweigh it all.  I recently got to spend a wonderful getaway weekend with two of my sisters. We had the time of our lives, and the girls’ trip caused me to contemplate each one of my sisters. They may not agree with my assessment, but this is how I see them:

Sister number 1: I’m probably closest to her simply because we are the closest in age. We also share both parents, live 30 minutes away from each other, and our own children are close. We have similar stories and experiences because of this. She is blunt, outspoken, and has a very dry sense of humor to the point that she’s not always aware of how funny she is. She’s very routine, loves to sleep, and you’ll find her playing a game on her phone–a lot. She is the most beautiful of all of us. We kid about the “pretty sister” all the time, and she’s very humble about it, but it’s true. She’s overcome some serious mental health issues in her lifetime, and she’s become a stronger wife, mother and person because of it.

Sister number 2:  She and I are similar in many ways, which has caused us to butt heads over the years and often left Sister No. 1 acting as the mediator. We are both stubborn, opinionated, set in our ways, and passionate, and because of these qualities, we are equally pulled apart and drawn together. She is the funniest of all my sisters; she literally could be a stand up comedian. My stomach hurts from laughing after spending an hour with her. She knows most or all of the lyrics to every piece of music ever written, whether a new song or an oldie, a theme song for a television show, or a commercial. She also has the biggest, most giving heart of anyone I know. She’s had some recent hardships that have caused her to rearrange life as she knew it, namely, losing her husband to cancer, and I admire her strength more than ever.

Sister number 3: She is my darling sister, the one for which I feel the most protective. We share the same father, so aside from a short, year-long stint in which I decided living with Dad looked greener, we were not raised together. She was the oldest of three–my youngest sister and my baby brother–and her childhood life was not easy. She also experienced an ugly divorce. But those challenges spurred her determination to get an education and make a better life for herself and her son. She has overcome so much adversity, and she is happy and healthy and the kindest soul. I am very proud of her.

Sister number 4: Baby sister is a doll. She’s a little firecracker, red-headed and all. She too struggled through childhood right behind Sister number 3, but for me, she has always represented peace. She gets a little nervous when she feels uncomfortable, but she seems so steady. Like she was able to slide past her childhood with only a few bruises. I think Sister number 3 had a lot to do with that. She was a shield for the younger two. Sister number 4 is silly and giggly and sweet as pie. She’s proved to be a wonderful wife and mom to her daughter, and knowing her husband’s family took her in as their own and have loved her for all of these years is very comforting.

So there you have it. This is what a sisters’ weekend does to my heart. I can’t express how much I love these girls, and my brother too. I’m grateful to have had the chance to walk this life with them for so many years, and I look forward to thousands upon thousands of more right on into eternity!

Yes, we get snow days in New Mexico.

Today, I am blessed with a snow day.

It all began yesterday at 11:45 a.m. when I received an email from the “higher ups.” By the time I had a chance to check out the weather, it had dumped a good amount of snow, unbeknownst to me, and it was still falling. . . hard. Sadly, I don’t have a window in my office, which means I miss a lot of the outside world during the day apparently. None the less, they were closing the courthouse, and we were all going home. Woot! And because temperatures are still pretty cold today with no chance of melting off the few inches we received, I got to sleep in late, and. . . I’m still in my pajamas sipping on a nice cup of morning coffee.

For those of you who don’t know this, I live in New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment. I did a little research on how we got that nickname. It was due to the scenic beauty and rich history discovered by the first Spanish explorers to hit our state. I also learned that the name didn’t become official until 1999, the year my son turned two. How did I not know this? I don’t have the best memory, but it seems like we’ve always been known as the Land of Enchantment. Go figure.

At any rate, many people have real misconceptions about New Mexico, one being that the sun always shines and temperatures never drop below 60, even in the winter. While it is true that our state is fairly mild compared to others, it does still get cold enough to snow from time to time. In fact, most years, February is our coldest month. And New Mexico is the home to at least seven well-known ski resorts. I’m sure I’m forgetting one or two, but ski season is in full force around here. Note the picture of my family at Ski Santa Fe two weeks ago.

My point? New Mexico, like every other state, contains a variety of terrains. We have the desert plains of eastern New Mexico where I live, and yes the wind does blow up to 70 miles an hour in the spring. I’ve nearly lost a car door twice! We also have the mountains and forests of Ruidoso, the mesas of northern New Mexico, the caverns of Carlsbad, and White Sands–a huge gypsum formation. In other words, a gigantic, hilly beach with no ocean. But take a couple of sleds and let the fun begin!

This break down of the beauty of our state tempts me to sit back and think. I take it for granted a lot. Compared to other places with their skyscrapers or beaches or fast living, my home seems pretty boring. I mean, you can travel for fifty miles in nearly every direction and see nothing but sandy hills littered with cactus and plateaus. Not a single building; sometimes not another vehicle for up to an hour. Just spacious skies, a horizon that never seems to end, sunsets to die for, and tons of alone time. Oh, wow. I guess those first explorers had it right.

So today, as I enjoy the rare but fresh powder piled up on my front lawn, I will ponder the scenic beauty and terrain that the Land of Enchantment offers. Today, I will not take it for granted.